Disappointment-Again

The social worker for infant adoptions came today and basically it's not looking good. We don't want a special needs child and we also would like to have a child that is younger than Rebekah. Special needs basically means Fetal alcohol or drug effected children. We right now aren't quite ready for that just yet in our lives. I honestly don't know if I can handle it. I do know that they need a home so maybe I could come to grips with that soon.

Dylan and I haven't talked about anything just yet... we are both in serious thought right now. The social worker also suggested that we take additional courses and do research on Fetal alcohol or drug effected babies etc. She also had suggested that we maybe do RESPITE care for foster familes that take care of special needs children.

Are only other option is to go thru a Private Adoption agency...which Dylan refuses to do. He has a point...why should we pay for a child? It's just wrong. You don't buy a child. Another point he made was that we want strictly NO CONTACT with the birth family. We are the parents. The child when s/he is old enough and longs and desires to know and meet his/her birth parents we will help them out in all that we can but we are the child's parents and we don't want to confuse the child with mixed messages. Some private adoption agency want to to pay for counselling for the birth mother and to me that is just wrong. Why should we have to pay for that? The decision was up to her and she made the choices not us.

Are hands are tied at the moment and we are at another loss. Is this a sign from God that we are only to have one child? Our miracle child are real true miracle child. Our gift from God himself? I have to admit that since that meeting on Saturday, I have been slowly trying to come to grips with the fact that we are probably never going to have any more children (either natural or by adoption). Just my way of thinking that maybe we have to realize that what we want isn't what God wants.